When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be?

Detox Day 33. I come from a family of 6. A stay at home mom, a car salesman dad. And three older brothers … who, love it or hate it, have made me pretty tough. When I was little I knew very early on who/what I wanted to be. I knew myself very well. I wanted to be a hairdresser, a mom, a wife, an actor, and a rockstar. I had no limitations. No one could have stopped me. I knew I was wonderful and could succeed. I don’t say that to be cocky. We aren’t cocky as children. We are magical. We believe anything is possible. But some how. Some way. We slowly forget our value. Our desires. Our dreams. Our wish list. And life becomes more a matter of fact. If we were to say as an adult. I’m going to own a pony and sell out stadiums. People would call us ridiculous. If we walked around saying I’m pretty and swirling around in our frilly dress, we would either be crazy or purely narcissistic. So what changed … and is it any wonder we limit our selves to the most basic parts of life then. I am where I work. I am who my family is. I am where I live. I am who I date. Our whole self becomes what we are surrounded by rather than coming from the internal love and identity we have for ourselves. What if we could get back to who we are. What we want. Believe, truly believe in magic. And providence. Believe life can be wonderful. Do what we love and revel in each moment. Like a little girl spinning in the forest looking up at the sun shining through the branches. Nothing can hurt us. We are well. Our soul is full. Our heart undamaged. Maybe only then will we be whole enough to recognize something good when it comes along. Rachel Hollis talks in her book about how she “forgot what was good”. IE what she loved as a little girl. It struck me. I don’t have things in my life now that feed my soul. Not even to the degree of a fresh box of crayons and a new coloring book would make my world as a little girl. The sound of rain on my window. The warm glow from the living room lamp as I lay in bed … knowing I wasn’t alone. The smell of running through the park after rain and the thrill of finding a new hiding place. So part of this journey. Is to find that again. Pure. Childlike. Bliss. I love hunting for abandoned houses to take pictures of. I love the first coffee of the morning on a day off. I love long walks in the park with an audio book playing in my ear. I love finding the perfect inspirational quote at just the right moment for a friend in need. I love karaoke. And hitting a note just right I actually give myself goosebumps. I love my baking and giving it away. I love making my daughter laugh at bedtime. I love me. I do. I choose me. I choose that little girl. And I’m only now finding out who she will be when she grows up <3